Anti-humour Thursday Feb 9, 2011

Alrighty, today I'm going to be posting the more brutal anti-humour jokes I can find on the web. The ones that are borderline offensive. Enjoy!



1. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust

2. Why did the boy drop his ice cream?


Because he was hit by a bus.

3. What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?


They were my friends.


4. Your friend is so gay, he has consenual sex with other men. And enjoys it.


5.What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?


Cancer

6. Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms?


Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.

(Note on number 7: This one isn't offensive in any way, I just thought it was hilarious.)
7. A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck

8. Your mother is so stupid that she was tested and proved to be mentally retarded.

9. A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building.

They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

10. Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack?


He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality

(Bonus hilarity for putting in the funny duck one.)
11.Roses are red

Violets are blue.

I have a gun.

Get in the van
 

My new anti-humour page

Today I bring you the first anti-humour Thursday on my new dedicated anti-humour blog. This blogs sole purpose will be anti-humour jokes and other ridiculous things. Enjoy!


1. What's the difference between an erect penis and a weight-lifter's arm?

The arm is bigger, and has a flexible joint at the midsection


2. Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Pizza delivery.

Brilliant, cheers.


3. Why do firemen wear those big gloves?

Because they do not want to get injured or burned by the fire.


4. What did the gay Catholic priest get for Christmas?

Some socks, a sweater and a couple of books.

5. Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

The important question is, why would you put a baby in a blender at all? I expect the answer would be some kind of mental illness or, at the very least, a severe manifestation of sociopathy.

6. A man is stranded on a deserted island, when he comes across what looks like a magic lamp. A genie comes out of the lamp and says to him "I will grant you 3 wishes".

The man responds: "Genies and magic lamps are fictional creations, most commonly found in ancient Arabian folklore, and as such are at odds with a rational understanding of reality. The prolonged isolation on this island, coupled with the extreme temperatures I'm being subjected to, must be causing me to hallucinate."
7. A skeleton walks into a bar.

The barman dismisses this as a hallucination and promptly calls NHS24.

8. An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scotsman all work on a building site, and all three of them are very competent workers that the foreman has no problems with.

9. Knock Knock.
...must be out. I shall call another time
10. Your mother is so fat that she should consider some sort of weight loss program.

Well, that ends todays anti-humour Thursday. I'll be bringing you 10 of those every Thursday, and I'll try to throw some other random stuff in every few days. Hope you enjoyed todays anti-humour Thursday. I shall end it with an awesome poster/quote.

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